Derod and I celebrated our 10th anniversary two days ago. We spent the earlier five of those years in the carefree life of courtship and the later five in marriage. Yes, it's been a decade...
There's so much to talk about -- how we were in those days, how we have changed, what kind of people we are today, what is our marriage identified with, how we actually tolerated each other for ten years (and still counting), how we have grown as individuals and as a husband/ wife, etc etc etc.
I suppose it'll suffice to say that we talk about the past with loads of nostalgia, the present with hearts full of contentment and thanksgiving, and the future with expectancy of more beautiful days to come.
Trip to Tioman with friends from the music ministry in the varsity christian's fellowship. 1999.
I mentioned about the type of music that reigned in my household when I was a kid. Just when you thought that parents are the ones who paved the way and set the culture of the home, think again. Siblings have their fair share of influence too.
My sister has driven me up the wall with her intense fervor for various types of music, or at least, when we were still staying in the same house. She had this ability to sit directly in front of the stereo, sing along with the CD while referring to the lyrics, over and over and over and over and over again. This ends up with me being able to sing songs of groups that I absolutely dislike. Even if I have a neutral stand on certain individuals/ groups, weeks of intense grueling takes its toil.
The mode is not limited to the stereo, nor is the genre limited to pop. And not all of them are that bad. This, for example, I'm happy to acknowledge.
After five long years, we finally got ourselves a clock in the living room.
Our other time telling devices consist of a small alarm clock in our bedroom and a proper clock in the study. The latter was a housewarming gift we handpicked. Derod's sister got us a dark wood framed clock when she holidayed on a nearby island and we propped it up in our living room. Alas, it didn't survive for very long and we went back to our usual time telling devices (our mobile phones, cordless phones and the watches that are left lying around).
We do walk around every now and then but since nothing really fits our living room very easily, we have decided not to buy anything until a suitable one comes along, which took us five years...
So may I present to you... *drum roll* OUR NEW CLOCK!
Derod and I went out for a nice dinner a few weeks back. The venue was a stone's throw from our home, with a nice view of a lake. While taking in the relaxing atmosphere and enjoying the distraction-free meal, I brought up a hypothetical topic* for discussion. This is perhaps the part that's not so relaxing for derod. The following conversation is as best as I can remember and did not occur word for word.
Cheoklet: Would you buy me a $300 wallet? Derod: Where is it from? How does it look like? Cheoklet: Does it matter? The question is, would you buy me a $300 wallet? Derod: I just want to see it before I pay for it, like is it leather, is the material high end, etc. Cheoklet: So it means you'll buy me the wallet, but you just want to see it? Derod: Yes. Cheoklet: What?!?! You mean you'll actually happily buy me a $300 wallet?! Derod: Ya, why not? Let's just say I'm taking the easy way out: since I don't really know what to buy for you most of the time, I'll rather buy something you like/ want. Cheoklet: But it's $300! For a wallet! Derod: Well, you don't often ask me to buy you anything. So, where's the wallet? Cheoklet: You think there is an actual wallet, judging from how well you know me? Derod: Hmmm... ya. Cheoklet: *abit insulted* No. There's no wallet. I just wanted to discuss about spending an amount as such on an item like a wallet/ bag, and also with our situation of being a single-income family. Derod: But I'll buy it for you anyway.
I burst out laughing in disbelief. So anyway, the discussion went on and as with times you get to chat with your spouse on occasions like such, it was fruitful and we got to know each other better. Derod also threw the same question retorically back at me, confident that I'd buy him something similar at that kind of price, if he'd asked for it. Well, it is true. But though it's something we don't really end up doing, it's nice to kinda set the values of this family.
But I was touched at his response, given that we have a tight budget. Contrary to popular belief, derod doesn't bring in tonnes of monthly income, and our decision to cut down to single income is also not based on the abundance that comes from his paycheck. Well as for me, knowing that he's willing to pour out this level of generosity and love is more than enough. *grinz*
* Disclaimer: This has got nothing to do with any recent acquisitions of my lunch partners. If you know who my regular lunch partners are, yup, this post has no reference to them. If you do not know who they are, then the topic will remain hypothetical to you without any other human reference ; )
After a long hiatus, and I broke the silence with an entry on ammonium bombs. Hardly the best way to resurrect a mouldy site...
It has been two months. A very arduous, trying, miserable two months. Since the day we left for church camp on 6 June, all the stuff that remained on my plate has been left there to this day. I came down real sick from Day One of church camp and got well enough to travel back home comfortably, only to resume to feeling constantly icky .
We thought something was terribly wrong when a car ride got me all nauseous and my usual hearty appetite just plummeted. And so the Lord showed us that His plan transcends all human will and in this good time that He has planned, sent the stork flying towards us a second time.
The last two months have been draining in every way. I was physically unable to do anything in my usual routine and due to immediate and lasting effects of riding in vehicles, I basically ended up being walled up in my house. In fact, for weeks, I did not even cross the threshold of my door to take out the trash. I became somewhat of a hermit, missing even cell group church services. I hated tasting the entire digestion process of every bite I took. I dreaded the perpetual feeling of being sick. I needed to rest but ended up with headaches when I rested too much. I was hungry but could only manage some apple slices and they'll all come up if something upset my body's delicate balance.
I couldn't look after gabe initially and meals became a problem. I felt guilty I had to feed him stuff from the hawkers on a more regular basis. I couldn't give him the attention he needed and his bath routine was basically thrown out of the window.
Derod was taking on much of the work in the house, including grocery shopping. He was exhausted but never said a harsh word nor showed any sign of impatience towards me. It was a tough time for him.
I lived each day at a time, with neither joy nor any sign of light at the end of this dark tunnel. I was depressed, bored, irritated, sick of feeling sick, and just plain didn't feel like doing anything nor going anywhere. My usual energetic self was gone. I pretty much stopped laughing and indulged in a bad sense of imagination and much tears. I considered how (on earth) I could live out the rest of my pregnant days.
But even in the dark days, I knew the Lord was with me. He answered the simplest, mundane yet most desperate prayers. He gave me the most loving and supportive husband one could ever ask for. He provided the most amazing source of encouragement during this period: company.
Out of the blue, people would be asking if they could come over to chat, play with Gabe (and hence relieve me somewhat), bring lunch over, and the like. Some of these are friends who have been toying with the idea of dropping by for eons but never made it until now. Some just happen to be on leave, or have an amazingly free week, or decided to spend lunch time at my place, or are in between jobs and hence have some time on their hands. I've even got my (not so) little student delivering home-cooked lunch. Older ladies who are matured in the faith extended listening ears and gave much valuable advise, mostly to hang in there. I was not alone, not just knowing that God is there, but that he provided so many people surrounding me with love and encouragement. These little visits and conversations broke the drudgery of the day, gave me something to look forward to, and lifted my spirits just by being there.
I'm so much better now, closer to being the original me, though there are still days where the spirits are a little low and the body refuses to cooperate. It's a new phase to a new journey. God be with this little family!
For a time, before the arrival of gabe, we rode frequently in Livingjoyfully's car and since we often came back to a vehicle rained upon by birds, she officially named us her jiao sai friends.
We made our way to her newly renovated home last Friday to warm it up with a group of friends and after a long night of fellowship and food, we returned to a car we could hardly recognise. Spotless save for stains left by rain, our (derod's dad's, to be exact) car was transformed. I have never seen a case of diarrohea as serious as this. Either that or the birds were practising for their archery version of the Olympics, with our vehicle as the target.
Looks like without Livingjoyfully in the equation, this fatal jiao sai combination won't be complete; well, it's your home we visited! So you are officially our jiao sai friend too.
Trip to Tioman with friends from the music ministry in the varsity christian's fellowship. 1999.
Taken in my old room. 2001
Us now in 2008
